Growing at Home - How to Make Mistakes
As parents, the natural inclination is to protect our kids, to shelter and rescue them from harm and the miserably intense feelings of failure or distress. However, failure is a great place for our kids to learn and grow! Christine Carter, from Raising Happiness, says "We need to protect our kids, not from failure, but from a life void of failure." There is no better time to teach your kids how to learn from their mistakes, than while they're safe under quarantine. Letting your kids make some of their own decisions also helps them to be more obedient in the things you ask them to do.
HYB and Roots of Action talk about some of the benefits of allowing your children to make mistakes:
Builds self confidence - Let them figure out how something is done.
Builds coping skills - They learn how to handle their emotions, build self-control, and apologize if necessary.
Learn to take responsibility - When allowed to make their own decisions, they also have to learn how to cope with the consequences of those decisions.
Develops wisdom - More mistakes gives them more experience.
Grows resilience - Becoming comfortable with mistakes teaches them how to bounce back quickly when something goes wrong.
Improves effort and motivation - When kids feel pressured to be smart or perfect, they don't want to challenge themselves to try new things, because they don't want to disappoint anyone if they mess up. Give kids praise on developing their character strengths.
How to help your kids learn from mistakes:
Acknowledge that they're not supposed to be perfect and your love for them is unconditional.
Tell them examples of mistakes you have made and what you learned from them.
Encourage them to turn their mistake into a learning opportunity and praise them for being able to admit and confront their mistakes.
Focus on their courage and effort to overcome mistakes and setbacks. Help them to see the positive side.
Mentor them on how to apologize if their mistakes hurt someone.
"Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun." - Mary Lou Cook
Generally, children aren't super afraid of making mistakes, it's something they learn as they grow older. Most teenagers I talk to tell me that they are afraid of making mistakes and feel an overwhelming pressure to be perfect. They don't understand that mistakes can be good things, that mistakes are how you learn. Giving your child a safe place to make mistakes helps them to learn new things and to trust your advice and guidance in future big decisions.
I hope you have fun teaching your kids to be resilient through their mistakes and cleaning up some messes. Let me know what kinds of mistakes you allow your kids to make!